February 15, 2010 - 12:23:13 am RelationshipsHere are all the things I wish I could tell you, but I can't.
You have finally taught me to hate you.
I don't know what set you off after dinner tonight. Honestly, I don't. I was in a good mood. I noticed that you weren't. Could it be that? I don't know why you were yelling at me. This isn't the first time, but it was probably the worst, and it's definitely the straw that broke the camel's back.
Even if you weren't screaming, I would have been hurt by what you said. Everything I did -- acts of kindness were twisted by you and made ugly. You made me seem more of a monster than a human being. I don't know how much more I can give, how much more kinder I can be to you. I feel like I have to crawl through glass to please you.
Yes, I know you had a difficult childhood and that you're not essentially a bad person, and if it were in my power I'd take away every evil thing that was done to you, but I can't stand being screamed at or snapped at anymore. I notice that you don't lose your temper at everyone, just me. You get angry at other people, but you only yell and insult me.
And you know, the few times I've tried to talk to you about any of this have only made you angry. It's always my fault.
I cried. You cried. I told you that nothing had changed, that I still cared, but all of this was a lie. I felt sick to my stomach after you left, and frankly, I'm embarassed that I ever went out with you. I never thought I'd be in a relationship like this. I thought I was too smart to. Stupid me.
I'm walking away. I really wish I could tell you the reasons why, but you'd only get mad.
